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About Literature / Hobbyist Core Member BluesparkksMale/United States Recent Activity
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?!?!

Wed Feb 15, 2017, 6:53 PM


Not 100% done yet, need to proofread for some continuity things, but holy shit does it feel good to type that.


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Bluesparkks
Bluesparkks
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Mortified author of A Walk in the Sun and Black and White. Currently working on another ponyfic, a significantly longer original (mostly OCs) adventure, currently going by the title Of Stardust and Splinters.

Art trades: Closed
Commissions: Maybe. Eventually.
Requests: FULL! See guidelines below. I'll accept requests via the following channels:
Any request sent outside these channels will be ignored.

Request Guidelines:
  • SFW requests only.
  • Ponies only. Gryphons and dragons may or may not be accepted.
  • As a general rule of thumb, the more freedom you give me, the better the end result will be. At the other end of the spectrum, the more details you request, the less likely it is I'll actually draw your request.
  • OC requests accepted if I find their design reasonable (e.g. if you request a non-canon alicorn, you'd better give several really good reasons). Character references are preferred, but not required if you'd like me to create my own design.
  • Remember that these are requests only; I cannot and will not be able to draw all of them.
  • I retain all rights to any drawing I produce at your request. You're free to use it for avatars or forum signatures, provided you link to the original deviation page if possible and/or when asked. You may not monetize or profit from my art.

Request Queue (3 slot maximum):
  1. Next up: [OC] Snow Pup - DJDavid98
  2. Something from Daetrin's Cartography of War
  3. OC Stallion+ OC Mare - SammySapphire
If you see anyone with my art on their online stores, please report them and let me know right away! I'm cool with people using my art for online avatars and signatures as long as they give credit; a link to the original deviation page will do, either provided when asked (for avatars) or when clicked (for forum signatures). Anyone making a profit off my work, however, can stop it right now and go suck an orc's willy.

Journal History

Activity


?!?!

Wed Feb 15, 2017, 6:53 PM


Not 100% done yet, need to proofread for some continuity things, but holy shit does it feel good to type that.


NEW YEARS?!

Thu Dec 29, 2016, 9:11 AM
I'm alive.  I also figured out several introspective things related to the last wall of text and some short-term and long-term goals for next year.  Let's get into it...but first, for the lazy.

TL;DR: Persona crisis resolved, OSaS arc 1 should be finished within the next 1-2 months, Patreon will go up alongside it, drawing will resume around that time as well.

My personality turmoil with Zeph left out one thing which is both incredibly important and incredibly easy to forget: Context.  Who you are is not a static thing, nor is it something that predictably changes over time.  You react to your environment, your surroundings, your friends.  You change based on them.  My problem here was that I was picturing Zeph in a vacuum when in reality (heh) who she is, how she behaves, is not static.  There are times when she's happy.  There are times when she's sad.  Part of the problem is that when I picture her (like, when I'm drawing her), there's only one angle at which she presents herself when she knows a stranger is watching.  Anywho, that's all sorted now.

The slightly related issue is the pressure I felt to be happy.  If it wasn't evident already, I am not naturally happy.  This isn't a bad thing; it just is.  The problem is I felt (and still feel) a tremendous amount of pressure to be happy because the next thing I need to draw is a happy pony, and I wanted to go past 'small smile' happy and shoot for something closer to the big-silly-grin ponies are so fond of.  I suspect this is an issue every artist has; trying to convey an emotion when you don't feel it.  It's not impossible but it's not ideal, either.  All I really need is a small window (like...one day) where I'm happy and am available to draw, and I'll be set.  Which brings me to...

DRAWING.  The elephant in the room.  I haven't drawn for several months now, for various reasons, but to cut to the chase, I want to finish arc 1 of OSaS first.  It's about 85-90% done now, most of the hard legwork is done.  I'm thinking it'll be done sometime by mid-February at the latest.  I will be making it publically available, but gated behind a password for a couple reasons.

The password will be found in a forewarning stating that although I never intend to change anything significant in A1, I can't promise I won't if something happens later down the line.  It will also warn readers that if they are the kind of readers who like to read something from start to finish ASAP, you might want to wait until all of OSaS is done (which will be a while).  The password will not be challenging to figure out unless you're so paranoid that you won't open one person's Twitter profile.

Around the time arc 1 is released, I will also be launching a Patreon and possibly making a Paypal donation button for myself.  For entirely uninformed (legal-based) suspicions, the Patreon and its rewards will be limited to my art.  The first milestone will likely be monthly art-related rants by yours truly, A) because art is one of those things I feel very strongly about, and B) a few long-distances friends tell me I, uh...have a very nice voice.  Hey, what do I know, my self-esteem got replaced by purpose a long, long time ago.

At any rate, that's what's up.  I can't thank you guys enough for your patience and continued support.

Hope everyone's had a good (and safe!) holiday season, and happy New Years!

Wall of text? Wall of text.

Wed Oct 5, 2016, 4:45 PM
Over the past few months I've been on the weirdest introspective journey I've ever been on.  If you can, bear with me; I promise this is very much relevant to my art, but I suspect it's not that common of an issue among artists.  If you don't want bear with me, well...I can't promise the TL;DR will make much sense.  I can't think of a way to say this succinctly, so here goes.

First, two things.  They'll make more sense the more you read.

A) Artistic integrity.

B) Personality osmosis.


For almost as long as I've been writing and drawing, I've felt like they were...almost opposing halves of me.  I needed one mindset to draw, and another completely different one to write, and flipping between the two takes a frustratingly long amount of time--days at best, months at worst.  It's only in the past few months that I've realized why exactly this is the case, and it starts with my writing.

I write best from first-person.  Period.

The approach I've chosen focuses a lot on what I imagine someone's day-to-day, minute-to-minute thoughts actually are.  Unconnected, sporadic, very train-of-thought, not grammatically perfect, constantly missing context (because the context is there, they have no reason to mentally reiterate it), that sort of thing.  It's a deeply personal approach that, in my eyes, is my best approximation of what the inside of someone else's head would look like if you just got to go inside and sit in on their thoughts, without them ever knowing you're there.

In my experience, writing is like 85% mental and doesn't require the physical act of writing, so I can basically write anywhere, anytime, as long as I have enough spare brain-space to do it.  So for as long as I've been writing Of Stardust and Splinters--which realistically is around three years, give or take--I've been chewing on it for the vast majority of the time I can get away with it.  At work, in the shower, when trying to fall asleep, in the car, you name it.  

And it's first-person.  So when I'm 'writing', what am I actually doing?

I'm roleplaying.

This is where item (B), personality osmosis, comes into play, and I call it that only partially because it's an excuse to use the word 'osmosis'.  I noticed, over time, that I started to develop many of my narrator-protagonist's habits and personality quirks.  My demeanor, physical and otherwise, shifted to become more like hers.  She, in turn, also adopted some of my personality traits and so forth, albeit to a lesser degree.  I've spent so much time essentially roleplaying as her that I adopted her persona.  This does two things:

- It makes it easier to write; the need to step out of my own shoes isn't as drastic because our metaphorical shoes are so similar now.
- It makes my writing feel more genuine and authentic.  Having her habits for so long starts to unveil some of the less savory sides of having them that I would never have known about had I stuck to just imagining those habits, or that I would be far less effective at conveying because imagining something and experiencing it are two very different things.

The real problem here is the latter, and this is where item (A), artistic integrity, enters the field.  The more I roleplay as her, the better my artistic integrity, and the better my writing will be, or so I can't help but believe.

But hey, surprise!  Anyone who's taken thirty seconds to flick through my gallery has probably noticed I draw this pony a lot (no, really) and probably noticed she tends to be intense, grumpy, and unapproachable.  She is many things, but "relaxed" is not one of them.  In her situation, she absolutely cannot be.  Ever.

And therein lies the issue.

I feel like the more I roleplay as her, the better my writing is--but while I'm busy being intense, grumpy, and obnoxiously reclusive, guess what I can't do?

Relax.

And because I can't relax, I can't draw.

I draw best when I'm relaxed.  My best art (obviously biased, but...well, y'know) has always come when I'm relaxed and just let the art flow.  There was a 4-week period, several months ago now, that was probably the single densest period of time I've ever had in terms of art productivity, and it's only looking back on it now that I realized it happened because I relaxed.  I stopped trying so hard, I stopped caring what other people thought, I just drew because I wanted to.

What's this all mean moving forward?  

It means I'll probably stop taking requests.  I'll still complete the ones I've accepted, but I can't offer my absolute best if my artistic brain isn't fully behind your idea, and I can't offer requests or commissions knowing I'll be giving people less than my best.  

It also means art is on hold until I can figure out a perspective or mindset that lets me drop my adopted persona without, in my eyes, compromising OSaS's artistic integrity.  Believe me, I want to draw, and when I can, I will.  But when push comes to shove, I put writing first.

TL;DR: Roleplayed for too long, can't/don't want to get rid of mask, but want to get rid of mask because art is hard with it on.

[/wallotext]

Regarding my drawing inactivity: This is the weirdest introspective journey I've ever been on.  Will probably write a journal about it soon
I have a sudden suspicion that having a Zeph plushie would actually make getting my head straight a lot easier.

Comments


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:iconayoarts:
AyoArts Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2016
Hello there :) ! I just saw your arts *^*
You have really nice gallery and style Hug
Reply
:iconuntitledcanvas:
untitledcanvas Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hey, wanna do an art trade?
(I seriously cannot believe how unfair this is. you've been on dA for what, 4 years? you rock at drawing, and you only have 75 watchers. what's up with that?)
Reply
:iconbluesparkks:
Bluesparkks Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
No thanks, I'm generally pretty trash at drawing other peoples' ideas.  But thank you for the kind words!
Reply
:iconmartini-s:
martini-s Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi there random deviantartist! I just want to offer you something... a hug. Glomp! Hug Huggle! Tight Hug
You deserve it! Forget all those pansy chains that say you need (insert
number) of hugs to be truly loved, all you need is ONE person to show 
their appreciation for you to know that you are beautiful and of amazing
worth! I just want you to know that no matter what, you are important 
to me, you deserve a smile on your face, and happiness in your heart. 
Have a very, very splendid day/night wherever you are! Sun
love emote by snorasaurus :allyouneedislove: by stuck-in-suburbia :thatssocute: by stuck-in-suburbia :lovesquee: by stuck-in-suburbia Hug a heart by Colorcatcher ~Doqpaws, just a random friend!
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:iconbanzatou:
Banzatou Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for favoriting Midnight Flare, I highly appreciate it~! :aww:

And you have really great artwork, keep up the great work~ :meow:
Reply
:iconbluesparkks:
Bluesparkks Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
No, thank *you*.  I couldn't help but notice your profile blurb, and...well.

I only started drawing because of FiM (long story, but they really helped and are still helping stave off my depression), but that was about three years ago, and prior to that I've never really drew much or thought of myself as an artist.  I'd be an idiot to claim I haven't improved since then, but I'm still short of where I want to be.  It's made it obvious to me that what separates the good from the great is who gives up and who doesn't.  So the important thing is--no matter how good I actually am--that I keep on trying.

TL;DR: It's comforting to know someone can make it work without having drawn since they were five.  Thank you.
Reply
:iconbanzatou:
Banzatou Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
First of all, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to a look at my profile, I appreciate it. :aww:

(Warning: Long text ahead)

To be honest, I didn't start off like that either, even though I did grow fond of drawing as soon as I picked it up at 2005 (I was 17 during the time). My first challenge in life was dealing with comments like my high school art teacher.

She told me personally, after 3 months into schooling, "Don't get your hopes up with art. I wouldn't suggest this as a career for you", all because there were so many other prodigies in her class.

I was heavily discouraged by her.

And along with that, I had to deal with a father who was very traditional (during the time) of my career in life. He wanted me to be either a computer engineer (since I heavily specialized in math and science back then) or work in the medical field as an RN.

I had passion as a computer engineer, but then I got to college.
And found math and science no longer fun.

And after a year of practice in drawing after graduation, I found myself loving art more and more.
At that point, I wanted to prove people like my highschool teacher wrong.

I kept practicing over the years.

And before I knew it, I hit my 5 year mark:
banzatou.deviantart.com/art/5-…

I was so proud of my progress over the course of time.
Fast forward to now, and I still am.

It's been over 9 years since that day, and this August will officially be an entire decade--wow, it's been that long??. :o

Granted, sure, my work may not be as great as most prodigies who started when they were young. But I've learned something over the course the time, and it's this:

There will always be someone better/worse than you in the world, and you should never feel ashamed for when you started and your progression.

Art is a forever growing process.

That said, keep on building that progression for yourself. :)
For three years, that's better than what I could ever make in 5. :XD:


tl;dr You'll definitely get somewhere in life if you keep pushing forward with that talent of yours; I guarantee it. :)
Reply
:iconbluesparkks:
Bluesparkks Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Ironically I think I'd be improving a lot faster if I didn't take it as seriously as I am/try to.  >_<  But thank you.  It means a lot to hear that.
Reply
:iconshyredd:
shyredd Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave :D
Reply
:iconbluesparkks:
Bluesparkks Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!  I'm not personally a huge Cadence fan, but every now and then someone paints her in such a way that it's really hard *not* to like.
Reply
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